A personal deeper share, giving those interested more insight into me.

We are at the start of a new week and the start of a new month and I’m so grateful that I have life and the abundance of life to be able to share this with you today.
I know Adonai Yeshua doesn’t count time the way we do, He is limitless and exists outside of time as well as within it.
However, He allows us to acknowledge and measure time in a way in which our (compared to His) feeble young minds can comprehend.

Before I continue to encourage you, I’m going to be totally transparent with you, please grab your favourite hot(or cold) drink, possibly put some soft music on, take a seat, be patient and read on…

Note:- As usual, my in-depth Blog posts are best viewed via a pad, laptop(notebook) or PC monitor, however, if you have a good phone with a decent size screen, you should be fine.

It’s been said of me and I’ve been called…
Camp 1: – Pastor, Prophet, Teacher, Counsellor, Seer, Watchman, Leader, Minister, Man of God, Faith Walker, True Believer, Kingdom Man, Loving husband, Good dad, A True Radical for Jesus & The real deal.

Camp 2: – Rebellious, Not planted, Rolling Stone, Having No Authority, Not subjected, Thinking more of himself than he should, Anti-Church, Anti-Leadership & Back-Slider.

Camp 3:- Religious, Jesus freak, too literal and too serious about this God stuff.

I have had all of the above and a few more things (which I will not write) said about me.
And you know what?…No matter how I’m viewed and what has been said about me, whether the good (from the true believers and disciples of God in Camp 1), to the bad of the religious acknowledgers (in Camp 2) or those who claim they acknowledge (there is something) or don’t believe in the existence of God (in Camp 3).
None of it really matters to the extent that Yeshua Himself knows me and who I am and knows I do my best to follow Him (whether I’m understood/known or not).
Yes, a life in Yeshua also means loving and interacting with my fellow human beings and displaying the True fruit of His Holy Spirit and by His Grace I attempt to do that every day.

IARNR_Mountain top sunrise

No way…
In 1993 I first started to take my walk with God seriously, moving from an acknowledger, to religious believer, to enlightened disciple in Relationship with God.
I know I’ve shared this before but as a reminder, I would like to say my relationship with food has always been one of pure love.
I admit, pre 1993 I would think that anyone fasting was just starving themselves and I obviously didn’t understand the physical benefits and most definitely did not understand the spiritual benefits of fasting.
In my mind there was no way I was doing that (fasting) but I was encouraged to do it in my early walk and soon began to understand how it helped physically and more importantly spiritually. Regular single day a week fasting was developed and I was able to fast for 4 days straight before getting married in 1994…and looking back over the early stages of marriage, I’m so glad I did.

Taking fasting seriously…
Fasting isn’t a competition, or even a badge of honour, it doesn’t automatically prove you are more righteous or spiritual, people fast who do not even believe in God.
Fasting is also not some magic potion to be used to ‘get things’…True spiritual fasting should be done with the reading of the Word of God and Prayer.
Fasting is a way to draw closer to God, to hear Him clearer, to subject your flesh to His Spirit and to empower you to walk in a better relationship with Him.
Many Church organisations encourage their members to fast at least once a week and if followed that is a great way to get into fasting.
Yes, there is no ‘official’ written rule concerning the frequency of fasting, however, Yeshua does encourage us to do it often.
Also, 1 day a week is obviously better than not doing it at all, however, in saying that, we have to be careful that fasting at that frequency doesn’t become some religious exercise which we do automatically, as that defeats the object of fasting.
That’s why it’s important to pray and listen when the Lord calls you to a 2, 3 (or more) day fast.
In all honestly there is something very different which happens to you ‘physically & spiritually’ when you move from a 1-day a week religious routine to a ‘relationship’ fast of more than 2 days in a row, especially when you hear the Lord calling you up higher.

Back in 2016 I decided to make some serious life changes concerning my health one of which was to change my diet completely (as well as wanting to get deeper in relationship with God) but as I didn’t want to return to bad eating habits, I realised that I had to prepare for a long fast (especially to break a sugar and starch addiction) which too many of us have/had.
Previous to that, the longest I had fasted in one stretch was 5 days, 3 of which without food or water and the last 2 with water and herbal teas.
God was most definitely with me in that fast, taking me through every step of the way.
I managed to fast for 18 days, the first 6 days without food or drink and the last 12 days with water and herbal teas.

Those who saw me afterwards, noticed the change immediately, some didn’t even mention it, they were probably so shocked at the transformation I underwent.
Some (from camps 2 & 3) asked me what I did and after I explained, many of the religious acknowledgers (camp 2 people) started deflecting, saying they could never do that.
The funny thing is, our guilty conscious can sometimes be expressed verbally by people who claim to be believers, knowing that fasting is something that should be done, especially those who never do it.
Remember, I was once there, no judgement from me…if you hear the call, you can do it.
I never once said that everyone should fast for 18 days, that would be ridiculous but it was amazing how many people were quick to tell me they could never fast for that long.

The Jesus Fast
So two years later, in the Autumn of 2018 I started hearing the Lord calling me to follow Him closer and come up higher.
I knew what that meant, He wanted me to consecrate and dedicate myself to Him, even more than I had previously done.
Now, I’m putting my hands up…I was one of those even up to recently, who believed that the 40 days and night fasting stuff, was not possible for regular human beings.
It was OK for Jesus, He was/is God in flesh…that was always my reasoning for not thinking about attempting it and I stuck to it.
However, over the Summer (of 2018), the Lord started talking to me about my life, marriage, ministry, children, business, where I want to go and what I want to do for Him and started to show me that there were particular ‘giants’ that needed to be moved and what that would entail.

Oh Dear Lord no…” that’s what I said quietly to myself, remember, although it was 2 years back (in 2016) I still had fresh memories of my previous 18-day fast.
Another thing I must say before I continue…many people incorrectly assume when you fast for long periods of time you just lock yourself away in a room and don’t do anything.
That is far from the truth, I still have a family, marriage, ministry, business to run and work to do. I tried my best to ensure that I tried to do as much as possible, even through-out this epic call.

So, October came around and I began to mentally prepare myself, I told my wife that I was about to do a long fast but I didn’t tell her it was a Jesus fast, it wasn’t until after I went into it, that I shared the plan.
My wife also fasted for her longest ever period through-out this fast but she will share her testimony where she is led to.
So my friends, the 30th of November 2018 (my mums birthday) was the day I ended my 40 day fast.
A fast led and ordained by God Himself, the first 7 days of which I didn’t eat or drink at all and on the 6th day I even drove out of London (being fully coherent) to my sisters and spent a day up there.

After the first 7 days I began to drink a mixture of warm and hot filtered Alkaline water, organic Ginger, organic Raspberry leaf & organic Eye-bright teas all made with filtered Alkaline water.
I’ll admit, I felt a sense of good pride and achievement when I went past 19 days, but new I would hit a wall at some point, it’s like what I imagine running a marathon would be like.
I hit that wall after the 30-day mark, from Day 31 to Day 40 I really had to dig in deep, I have never experienced such physical discomfort and never thrown up so much in a short space of time in all my life.
I knew my wife was concerned (and some of my children) but on the other hand, she knew how determined I was to finish this course (chapter in my life) and was so encouraging, always saying she knew I could do it.
My eldest daughter was also very supportive and encouraging throughout the fast.

There were long periods within the fast where it was so spiritually intense and Intimate, the Lord was showing me myself and had messages for my children also.
My natural sense of smell and hearing heightened and my spiritual discernment sharpened, especially as I received Word of Knowledge for some of my children.
There were other spiritual personal ‘throne room’ experiences which I had but just as important, I feel I must emphasise, that there was a point where I could feel the Lord step back, for me to see what I was capable of and what was in me.
In that period, by His Grace and keeping I did my best to make sure I didn’t speak foolishly, I knew He hadn’t forsaken me but at the same time I felt a bit of the distance, which is something He likes to use with me, to allow me to prove my faith in my walk.

In this period, I did receive a very strange message from someone, who believed they had a Word from God but I quickly discerned that the message was for them and not me and as politely as I could, I told them as much.
Sometimes, people think they are being used to ‘tell you something’ but without trying to sound judgemental (or full of myself) and while always discerning and asking the Lord to speak to me, I knew the person was misguided.
If their message was for me, 3 things would have happened, First, The Lord will always give the message to the individual (me) first.
As we are under a new dispensation, Yeshua no longer requires us to have a message given to us by a priest or prophet, he deals with us directly and we have direct access to Him.
Secondly, if I was ignoring the message He would then send someone who knows nothing about the situation (without previously having partial information) to bring confirmation of what He has already told the individual, that way, they would not be speaking from a biased point of view.
Thirdly, that individual (the receiver) would then be in a position to either accept or reject, as to whether or not they accept the Lord is talking to them or not.

Which most definitely didn’t happen in my situation.
I can honestly say, in my early Christian walk (many years ago) I’ve been guilty of ignoring the direct ‘me first’ message and the Lord had to bring someone (impartial) to speak to me on a couple of occasions…after the second time, I learned to deal with things directly, when He speaks to me.

In the past I would have been extremely angry that someone misinterpreted what they thought was for me but they obviously missed another vital point…
When the Lord gives us a word we first have to and should apply it to ourselves, our own household (situation) and once we address the situation (beam in our own eye) we are then clear to see and hear, if the Lord wants the same message delivered to others (to help others to take out the beam from their eyes).

I thank God for growth, I have been tweeting on a series of Love in the midst of the fast and was given the inspiration to do so, straight from the Throne of Grace, Power & Love.
Ironically, Love was the basis of the message and the person was supposed to be examining themselves.

However, in an amongst an attempted attack on my peace, I baptised one of my daughters, which was such a Blessing.
I also offered to Baptise my only natural brother, I still haven’t received a response from him yet…that was actually back on day 30 of my fast.

Something else I must share with you…
Before I began the fast (my mother, told my only sibling who truly loves me) that she had a dream that she saw me dead and lying in a coffin.
My sister didn’t tell me about that dream straight-away, she was obviously trying to find the timing to tell me.
However, as we have that kind of relationship (one of openness and honesty) she found the ‘God time’ to tell me and the Lord’s Spirit immediately gave me the interpretation of the dream which was received by my sister.
What my mum saw was me ‘dying to myself’ which is what the fast really did help me to achieve.

I have external issues (like everyone else) but my Spiritual and mental approach to my situations are one of 100% trust and peace, even though I cannot physically see how some things are going to be sorted out.
God bless my mum, sometimes when we receive dreams, we should be still and ask the Lord the right questions, then be still again, shut our mouths and listen and He will give us an answer or a direction as to what we should do with that dream.
I shared the above to confirm what you may already know…just because you are led to do something deep and good by God, doesn’t mean you will not have a test or two to contend with, even from those who ‘should’ know you.

So, this I can confirm, you will not die…if you are led to do something greater than you, by Abba Yeshua, He will keep and guide you through…you will not die, He is not like man, it’s impossible for Him to lie.
Whatever good and just objective which has been on your mind and in your spirit, once the Lord has given you a directive…You can do it.

I know a 40-day fast isn’t for everyone, I repeat, just because I did it, I’m in no way saying everyone has to.
I know some are hearing the call to come up higher and you have to know you are chosen to do the same.
Maybe you just have to do 2 days back-to-back just to increase your faith…that is always a good thing, as without faith, it’s impossible to please God.
Contrary to what you’ve heard, a human body can last 7 days without food or water, I did it.
However, in saying that, I know everyone is different, I have had 2 years of a super healthy mucus-light Alkaline based diet with Alkaline water, so my body was better equipped to handle those extremities.
On the last day of my fast I found this (very informative site) which will help you to understand the Biblical principles, the whys and hows.
The site shares things I knew but it is so well presented, there is no need for me to re-invent the wheel.
Please don’t be put off by the title (although I don’t know them) I can see that the author has been blessed with what you need to start off a consistent spirit-led practice of fasting.

As I was saying, I already made changes and in fact, I was mocked by someone the last time I did my 18-day fast, when they actually stated that maybe I should write a book about it.
Well, It’s not a book but this Blog post is more than enough to encourage someone, with an ear to hear…to go for something ‘big’ by faith…You can do it.

In the past, a habit I ‘had’ which comes from my mum, was a need to want to correct every incorrect opinion of me, by trying to track down and address the source of the misinformation.
Long ago I asked the Lord to help me address this and he has but there was still residue left when one of our children decided, in his words… “He no longer believes in God and His Word to the extent that we do”… although heart-breaking to hear my love for that son remains.
He chose to go to all of those who have a problem with how we live to share his truths (as he sees it) and the situation concerning him, helped me to see that I had grown, as I was only concerned about sharing our stand-point with the place he chose to want to stay.
Anyone else, wanting to know and have the full story, has always been free to come to me to speak about the situation (only a couple have)…but as I’ve said, openness and honesty appears to be a rare commodity these days.

Others will have their opinions of you, you can’t answer all the critics and even when you do, because they usually lie, they think you are lying to.

Remember Jesus, our Daddy Himself, put on flesh, became the perfect sacrifice, to not only save us but redeem us back into relationship with Him.
He was falsely accused but many times He kept quiet and let His truth, fruit of love and works of faith speak for themselves.
There comes a time when you have to just let go, be still, quiet and let Him defend you…You can do it.
With what I have to do and where I have to go, I have to let my experiences be my best teaching school, if I can do it…You can do it too.

You may feel that you are inconsistent and constantly failing, however, remember, if you have life, hope and faith, you are able to overcome…You can do it.

You may feel your aesthetics, your background, your gender, age, lack of resources etc. may be a stumbling block to achieving what is in your heart.
If Yeshua Himself has placed that good, true, pure and just cause on your heart…You can do it.

In the times we now live in, we have to remember His word, look up, be encouraged, hold onto them and believe them…You can do it.

I will press on, I am truly newly anointed and refreshed in Yeshua Adonai’s Love, Power and Grace…I’m very different and its more than a feeling.
Its day 2, I had my first hot meal today after breaking my fast with light non-acidic fruit and salads.
Yes, I still look like I’ve been through a famine and in a way I have, I’m not going to share how much weight I’ve lost but I will say I have gone down to my pre-marital weight.
If there was any vanity in me I would have stopped after 20 days but I have also proved to myself that the Spirit is more than the flesh, even though the flesh is strong and very war-like.
I couldn’t love on my wife the way I love to, for 40 days and that was hard.
I stopped watching my regular TV-shows and regular movies (only watched Christian movies and documentaries).
I stopped watching my football team for the whole of November, missing some very good games.
I stopped viewing fan TV videos and other forms of entertainment.
In that period I prayed for people I knew personally, as well as certain “known” individuals which the Lord brought to my attention.
It was a wonderful and deep time.

Look past the distractions in life, the frienemies, the relatives who smile with you but really don’t like you or love you.
Look past those who decide to turn their back on truth for the things of the flesh.
Love them all, pray for them, don’t lock the door on them, be ready to welcome them, when they are ready to love themselves enough to love Abba Yeshua with all their heart, mind, soul and strength…however, ultimately, leave them to Yeshua…You can do it.

I recently posted a Tweet concerning the Attack of the True Church of God in western society.
One of the things which is becoming more apparent is how the World (with their ungodly audacity) is trying to tell The Church, what Love is…How ridiculous.
Their main form of attack (to get the Church to compromise and eventually accept the mark) is to attempt to make us look unloving if we don’t put-up, accept and pat others on the back for wilful blatant sins, especially those listed in Paul’s 1st letter to the Church in Corinth Chapter 6 : Verses 9 – 11.

What religious Christians (who’ve succumbed to the persecution) need to understand is this, compromise is not showing love, it shows fear.
You can love an individual (as a Soul loved by God) but hate the things they do.
That hate for those listed sins, doesn’t mean you are unloving or uncaring, it means you refuse to compromise to the subtle western persecution (which will eventually become blatant) and take the mark.
You are willing to stand on the Sovereignty and truth of the Word by faith, knowing you are willing to deny all that’s popular (even lose your life) that you may gain it, with Adonai Yeshua Hamashiach…now that’s real love.

I have 6 siblings via my mother and another via my dad and the closest most open one does not share the same paternal DNA, however, she has an even more common and stronger bond, she shares the same DNA of our eternal Abba, Yeshua EL Shaddai.
We don’t agree on everything (esp personal preferences) however, our disagreements don’t extend to the foundational truths and sovereignty of the Word of God, in this we are in 100% agreement.
Do you have that type of relationship with someone?
Besides, obviously, my wife, I feel 100% relaxed around that individual as I am able to be myself, open and honest and I’m grateful she feels she can be at least 98% there with me.
It’s so refreshing to visit someone and you don’ feel they are being evasive or secretive, they are not on edge for fear of you touching on what should be normal subjects.
It’s good to be able to tackle difficult subjects and the person can just say openly, they don’t want to talk about it (although she never does).
They don’t go quiet on you, in the hope that you stop (the passive aggressive tactic).
They don’t accuse you incorrectly of doing things you are not.
They don’t walk out the room when you are still talking to them (another passive aggressive tactic).
They don’t try to forcefully control conversation or change the subject when you touch on a real subject (so rude).
They don’t bark and shout at you without giving you the opportunity to share your opinion (rude and aggressive).
They don’t lie to you and tell you (like a child) that they don’t know why they haven’t been in touch, or do something, when really, they do and feel too embarrassed to tell you.
I could go on but you get my point….I had two other people in my life that I could really be myself with and they both died in 2016.
When you have a relationship like the one I have with my sister, the one where you know they are not going to sit quiet, while someone is incorrectly slating you behind your back, the one who would defend you as you would them…cherish that relationship and look after it….You can do it.

The last thing I will share with you is this.
I try my best to continue to show forgiveness and love to those who don’t fit into the category above, as my sister does.
In saying that, I do remember that I have met some wonderful people, along my journey of life and had some very good, kind and generous friends and relatives.
I always try my best to remember the good other people do for me, more than what I do for them and I’m grateful for the give and receive aspects of life (which all good relationships should have).
I remember peoples birthdays and anniversary’s (partially due to keeping organisers and calenders up to date).
I try to keep friends, frienemies, family and relatives in the loop, concerning what I’m doing with occasional texts and emails.
I was going to send a text out to share the fact that I have recently published this encouragement but I received a check in my Spirit not to, this time.
I pondered and wondered if I was being harsh or if the Lord was saying it’s time to stop casting the proverbial pearls.
I felt that I have come to a part of my life where I have to let go and allow others to choose to want to be in fellowship with me.
A prophet is indeed without honour amongst the people who know him, familiarity certainly does breed contempt.
There is always a natural time to stop (with those who take your words and presence for granted) and move onto pastures new…remembering to never completely lock the door, on those you know, because you never know when there maybe a positive turn around…You can do it.
I had a word with a friend yesterday and that thought was confirmed when they admitted they didn’t know about the IARNR ministry, when I have been working away on sharing info on it for over a year.

I understand that people have lives to live and are busy…doing this Jesus fast has really showed me not to take things personally, hold my head up and push on.
My prayer for those who do (or think they know me) Is for them to grow deeper and closer in relationship with Abba Yeshua.
Yeshua has, on more than enough occasions, shown us through His Word, that love is an action, it’s what we show each other, not just words so easily spoken.
He is very clear and autocratic and has told us emphatically, that if we truly Love Him, we will keep his commandments…guess what?

Fasting really does help us to keep those precious commandments…You can do it.
Let’s not be like the world, they think if they say ‘ I love you’ often enough, it means they are loving…Remember, Yeshua did say that the world loves their own.
Also, remember that your true stance of uncompromising love of an individual (but hatred of their constant reprobate and presumptuous sins) will not be looked at as loving by the world, even though it is, especially if you continue to remind them what God expects of us and them…someone has to do it…You can do it.

To conclude…
Thank you for reading…I hope you found some encouragement into my insight into my (I can’t do that) 40 days and 40 nights, Jesus fast.
I hope you realise you have someone here (if you want) who can share with you, pray with you and encourage you.
I hope you realise, when you think you are alone, you are not…remember our Abba is omnipresent and with Him ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE…You can do it!

As always, if you want to converse on this, please leave a comment or send me an email.
Remember, A city which is set on a hill cannot be hidden, we are the light in times of darkness and these are most definitely dark times.
We cannot be a brightly lit torch and hidden under a basket…what good is there in that?…Those are the words of Abba Yeshua Hamashiach and they are full of wisdom, power and love….Remember, You can do it!

God Bless you and have a wonderful week.

Phil Gayle
Watiwa Mtoto wa Yeshua
G Man

Originally written and posted on the 2nd of December 2018


  1. Wow! So much information here! Great insight into who you are and how you got there. How were you mocked by the person after 18 day fast? I agree with them about writing a book on your fasts. I think that that will be another way to reach out to different audiences. I loved reading about your relationship with your sister and your take on your mother’s dream.
    Thanks for sharing

    • Thank you Ms Brook.
      That fast helped me to deepen my relationship with Yeshua and caused me to grow spiritually in more ways than I thought it would.
      I’m trying to give the reader certain aspects of me, keeping things 100% honest.
      As you can imagine, it doesn’t go down well with the secretive, however, I try my best not to name people directly, always giving people who know me, a right to reply, if I have referred to situations incorrectly.
      I may do the book on the both the 18 & 40 day fast experience at some point in the future but my current 3 WIP really do occupy most of my thoughts and time.
      My sister remains a constant in my life, my mum, was close but that changed after my serious case of food poisoning last year.
      As always I appreciate your comments, I will be placing your Blog on my Network page.
      Have a great week. xx

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