For Singles and Couples originally started as a ‘Blog category’ concerning relationships, on my previous BLOG, ‘Phil’s Lounge’.
A fellow Blogger wrote a post concerning passion, which I identified with…there are a few things in life I feel apathetic about, however, as a passionate person, I feel strongly about many of the more important life issues which concern us all, hence the posts I wrote on the Lounge.
In a social setting, I can do small talk, but much prefer to be in the midst of people with some passion (whether they share my views or not) discussing the topics some people believe should not be discussed, e.g. Beliefs, Ethnicity/Culture, Sex and Politics.
Whether due to nurture (my background) or having a natural gift and ability, growing up, the one area of life which I’ve always found fascinating has been the area of relationships.
Being more of a slow considerate starter in the relationship field did not stop me from developing a natural ability to study and ‘know’ people.
From as young as 16, I was being called upon for agony-uncle type relationship advice, initially by female friends then as time went by, my male friends to.
An awareness and understanding of Anthropology, has always been natural for me.
I have wanted to take my years of experience (my own as well those around me) and write about them but did not quite understand why it was never happening as part of a whole.
To quote a saying…the penny finally dropped, when I realised that the specific area of ‘relationships’ was where I felt most passionately and where I needed to focus.
What it is and what it’s not…
Humankind, due to our self-will, power of choice, inquisitiveness, ability to learn, adapt and transcend has made the area of relationships a vast one.
However, For Singles and Couples, will not be a Blog which covers every single aspect concerning relationships, it’s not possible.
I would like to state the obvious and ‘hopefully’ dispel some probable pre-conceived notions from the start, in the hope to encourage visitors to stick around and become regular readers and contributors.
* Yes, I’m a man, however, For Singles and Couples is for both male and females.
* Yes, I am a Black British male, born in London, to Caribbean parents with African ancestry, however, For Singles and Couples is for everyone: – Black, Brown, Cream or White…all are included.
* Yes, this project started in my 40s, however, For Singles and Couples is for the 18+, especially those who are on a continual quest of learning, exploring, understanding and improving themselves and their relationships.
*Yes, I may currently be financially challenged, however, For Singles and Couples is not just targeted at those of us who are trying to overcome financial difficulties, it’s for the rich too.
* Yes I am married, however, here at For Singles and Couples, we acknowledge and accept the obvious…
1) Not everyone is married
2) We were all single ‘first’ and that stage of our life is ‘arguably’ the more important stage.
3) People are living as couples and are not married and no matter what my personal belief system is, it would be both ignorant and arrogant of me not to acknowledge relationships which can last just as long as most marriages, if not longer, at times.
* And speaking of belief systems…Yes, I am a Christian, however, For Singles and Couples is for ‘everyone’, irrespective of their beliefs.
I will occasionally cover other aspects of relationships (in connection with certain topics) however, in writing about what I know, my primary focus will be on male/female relationships.
Those who know me, know that there are very few things I fear in life…I do not have any phobias.
I believe people should be treated as you find them, on an individual basis, not using sweeping generalisations, especially negative ones.
I do believe that people should be treated with respect and try my best to treat individuals as I would want to be treated, whether I believe in their lifestyle choices or not.
Lois and I have studied many different aspects of relationships by people we have worked with, by book, documentaries, films, the news, the internet, talk shows and reality TV.
I am well aware of the various choices people make concerning relationships, whether it be Homosexuality, Bi-Sexuality, Swinging, Polyamory, Polygamy, Bigamy, Sex/Relationship communes, Trans-gender relationships as well as other extremities such as Zoophilia and Bestiality.
For singles and Couples is not about blasting and attacking the alternative relationships I previously mentioned, that would be counter-productive and unhelpful.
I do believe there has been a rise in material and media, which explore and support the alternatives.
However, at For Singles and Couples, my objective is to continue to explore, encourage, support and help healthy positive Male/Female relationships, sometimes with humour but most of the times with a realness and honesty which would probably never be discussed on TV/Radio chat shows, the general press or a Church seminar.
In saying that, I always hold onto a hope that one day it may be possible for that and more to happen.
And finally…
As with my previous Blogs, ‘The G Spot’ & ‘Phil’s Lounge’, the ‘For Singles and Couples’ Blog posts will always be written with a more personal approach and relaxed style.
The book however (with the exceptions of a few sections) will be written with a more detached, more professional/counsellor format and less personal style.
The book could be considered a self-help book but it’s in no way a ‘one size fits all’ master plan for everyone…that’s simply not possible.
We are all unique individuals and as I said earlier, we have the ability (due to our choices) to make life very ‘different’.
That unique difference will never enable anyone to write enough books to create a universal plan for how we should specifically run our lives, especially in regards to relationships.
However, in saying that, the For Singles and Couples book and subsequent books will offer blue-prints for the interested individual to utilise and build their own personalised plan with.
I will continue to believe the experiences I and the people I have listened to, observed and helped, will help those who are going through similar situations.
I would love to help and encourage the masses, however, if I only help a few, I will be glad to be of assistance…even for the few ‘thousands’.
Phil Gayle.
G Man.
© Copyright 2012-2022 For Singles and Couples, All rights reserved.
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It’s incredible when all the elements of a relationship can be shared between two people. I too share the venues you’ve laid out in your blog. I being a white woman in my forties discovered what I had been taught as a child and raised with values that remained to be my roots. However, when the roots aren’t being watered the flower will wither. My passion and spirituality became my compassion, so I began my journey. I traveled along the valley of my past life to bring peace in my valley. Counseled and mentored by one of the most incredible colleagues, grateful and blessed for his knowledge and humor. I became intrigued and started my research but I went back to my roots and moved forward. It’s incredible what one will learn once you let go and let God take the reigns. Now by no means am I brainless or heartless. One of the coolest thing I was taught was “Follow Your Heart”. With that being said, I saddled upped my little country girl heart and began to write, “The Color Red”. My message was for the youth and young ladies but has been received by more men than women. Wasn’t my plan but Gods. I do believe and it was my intention to write simple, so even the child could understand but that no matter the gender or age, all could receive the message that was needed. Rather it be friendship, companionship, not matter the culture or ethnic group the reader is in. Depending on the spiritual level of the reader would depend on how they perceive the message. As I move along it will become more complex as I feel many of my readers are learning. I take my personal time with each reader that approaches me to share the true unconditional love that so many are lacking. As you said Phil, not all aspects can be in one blog or book. I enjoy what you are not only sharing but I believe sharing with the universe. I look forward to the journey that has been laid out before us and believe, that yes we can make a difference. I will openly share your venue, books and blogs because the truth is what folks really want to know, however applying the truth is where I feel most struggle in their day to day lives. You can have knowledge of it all, and the mind can be flowing with all the right answers but until we decide to apply what we know to our everyday lives, the one is only settling, being content and that isn’t what Our Creator has in store for us. I am a open minded person and the truth once you know it and apply it will give you an abundant life. Grab hold and enjoy all that has been placed before you.
Beautifully put Amanda.
I don’t want to repeat what you’ve already said, however, I will echo a few things.
I believe learning from our experiences and sharing them, helps others as well as ourselves.
As you said, the art of understandable communication is important, what’s the point in using complex words (which I could easily use) if they are not understood by the reader.
Application of the knowledge a person acquires, is a lot more difficult than acquiring that knowledge, it takes humility, consistency and self-control.
As one who can ‘apply’, I believe I have a responsibility to share and help others to do the same.
I look forward to accompanying you, on your peace in the valley journey.