So you’re single and secure, you don’t have any baggage, you refuse to settle, you utilise your time constructively, you’re holistically developing yourself, you’ve acknowledged that you are in the 2nd state of being single, you have an understanding of what constitutes as real riches and you have the correct perspective of love and colour, whether you choose same colour or mixed love.
If those scenarios are applicable, you’re ready for a serious long-term relationship and eventually marriage.
The first 2 years of any relationship is considered the ‘relationship honeymoon period’, where the newness of the relationship, the chemical reactions and endorphins which are being released, cause those individuals to be deeply infatuated with each other.
If a couple goes past that 2-year period, there is a settling and maturing of the relationship, where a couple start to look at each other and asks questions, such as, Where do we go from here? Does the relationship have longevity? Can we take it onto a deeper level and marriage?
The Millionaire match-maker, was a show I would occasionally watch.
The match-maker believed that most mature adults, should be able to tell (within a year of dating) whether or not their partner was actually the person they would consider marrying.
I agree, to an extent, however, it’s not always easy for everyone to know within a year.
We have differing experiences, maturity levels and come to honest self-realisation, at differing stages of life.
However, You’ll know you’re ready for marriage when…
• You acknowledge your maturity.
• You feel emotionally and mentally secure and balanced.
• You’ve forgiven the past mistakes and intentional bad choices of others, no baggage.
• You’ve forgiven yourself for your mistakes and intentional bad choices, no baggage.
• You are willing to exercise forgiveness (in your current relationships) when needed.
• You are emotionally & relationally flexible, not too set in your ways.
• You are ready to share yourself & love someone wholeheartedly.
• You realise you have to positively contribute, not just take from, a relationship.
• You are willing to be strong and supportive and be humble enough to receive the same.
• You value and desire emotional and sexual intimacy.
• You understand that you & your spouse have to keep the grass ‘greener’ on your side of the fence.
• You realise that marriage is not always easy, it requires a bit of work.
• You are able to resolve disagreements, no walking away.
• You realise open and honest communication are essential, you’re not keeping any secrets.
• You are ready to compromise in the ‘negotiable areas’, areas which are not deal-breakers.
• You have the natural resources, skills, education and some form of income to obtain a place to live.
• You are not still tied (emotionally, spiritually or sexually) to an ex-partner.
• You can honestly discuss whether or not you would like to have children.
• You are willing to work on your levels of hypersensitivity or insensitivity, to accommodate the feelings of your partner.
If you can honestly answer the above questions and your partner can do the same, it’s time to start planning for the next level…for marriage.
Phil Gayle – © Copyright For Singles and Couples. All rights reserved 2019
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