Part of the circle of life, includes the sadness and devastating trauma of death.
Losing a loved one affects people in different ways.
Some shut down, some shut themselves away, some use the drug of alcohol in an attempt to numb the pain, some walk around in a daze of denial refusing to accept the loss, others allow the emotions to flood out in tears, some choose to remember the best parts (with laughter) in an attempt to keep their emotions upbeat, some go into deep thoughts thinking about life and reflecting on its frailty, while others take to their social media accounts to share the news.
Then there a those who go through a mixture of some or all of the above scenarios and emotions.
As I said to the attendees at my friends funeral, there is no right or only way, to grieve the loss of a loved one, please give people the understanding and space to grieve how they choose.
In speaking to Lois this morning, I was sharing with her how hard it is to deal with human emotions, especially when Yeshua shows you certain things and you hear people speaking contrary to what you’ve been previously shown by God.
It doesn’t have to be doom and gloom but when people hold differing beliefs, it invariably looks like that.
I’ll keep my counsel on that to myself and stop there.
So, now our children only have 1 remaining grandparent (my mum) as Lois’ mum (who turned 91 last month) died yesterday.
It was just over a 6 year struggle with strokes and chest infections after being a diabetes sufferer for a number of years previously.
She was a woman, who was well versed in the art of deflection and although I was able to have ‘some’ deep and meaningful conversations with her over the years, she preferred small talk, where she could exercise her sense of humour, and her different sayings/quotes.
“It’s in the body and the system”, was one she would say, when referring to her many ailments.
“Ah everyday life story” when she would refer to the news or a current affairs situation, which has happened to someone, whether she heard by word of mouth or TV.
“The Bible has to fulfil” is the one, she would use to admit that the signs of the times, the current affairs which were and are still happening, are the fulfilment of the Word of Jesus.
One specifically for me… “Yes bredda (or Pastor) Phillip” which was her comical satirical response, anytime I was speaking to her about following her words through with actions.
Especially concerning her knowing what the Bible says and her slowness to act, specifically concerning her soul’s salvation.
No, she didn’t follow through, I’m so sad about that, as I’ve previously said, in March 2016 I was (if she wanted to) prepared to set the bath and baptise her but she didn’t want to.
Two months later, she had her first major stroke, causing a loss of full speech and mobility.
So, like her husband in June 2020 (on my dad’s birthday) and my dad in October 2021, my mother-in-law has also passed in June.
What is it about June?
It’s the month I started dating Lois, back in 1991, Lois’ birthday month, our daughter, the 1st granddaughter on both sides birthday month, my dad’s birthday month and now the month in which both Lois’ parents have died.
I’m just sad that yet again, I have to follow the truth of Jesus’ Word and not human emotions or people’s opinions, when I say that, unfortunately, as much as I want to, as with our dads, I can’t say she is resting in peace.
The one bright side is, at least 4 of our 6 will be out there to attend the funeral, with them being our representatives.
Unlike the situation concerning my dad, who didn’t have anyone in attendance at his cremation last December.
I know, we are not alone, while many of that generation (the over 80s) are passing now, it doesn’t make it easy, with many adults now technically becoming orphans.
Life goes on and those of us who are alive in mourning, need the time to grieve and process.
My prayer will always be for those who are alive, for them to receive comfort and peace.
That those (who have not accepted salvation) will ‘wake up’ and accept all that Jesus has for them.
Also, for the born again believers who are also mourning, to share the strength of Jesus, among their unsaved family, relatives and friends.
Being an emotional, physical and spiritual support for them.
God Bless you.
Watiwa Mtoto wa Yeshua