The natural celibate (spiritual eunuch)

A few months back a young woman tweeted that ‘marriage is not for everyone’.
She was answered by a young guy who was in my network, who’s reply was ‘you’ve been lied to, it is for everyone’.

So who was right?
The short answer is, they are both right.
Marriage is available for every male and female, however, not every adult is cut out for or should be married.
Paul the apostle, by the leading of Yeshua’s Holy Spirit, addressed sexuality and sexual sin in depth, with the Church brethren who lived and had fellowship, in two of the most sexual societies of their day, Rome in Italy and Corinth in Greece.
It’s interesting to note, in his first letter to the brethren in Corinth if the reader reads it clearly, with spiritual understanding, it is clear that Paul encourages individuals (by choice not a commandment of Yeshua) advising that ‘if’ believers can, they should remain single.
In order to concentrate on doing Yeshua’s work without distraction, if not, they should marry.
Sadly (over the years) this chapter has been misinterpreted and made law by religious groups like the Catholics, especially by the enforcing of celibacy, on those who they select to “lead” groups, congregations/assemblies.
This has led to a whole range of problems within their religious establishments, sadly, resulting in various forms of abuse.

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Previous to Paul’s letter, Abba Yeshua (in addition to what He already told Adam & Eve, Enoch and Moses) does address the union of man and woman ‘again’, as that is the only union which fits His ‘perfect will’ for us, concerning relationships and especially marriage and sex.
In these verses within the Gospel of Matthew Yeshua answers the disciples, when they questioned the words He previously spoke concerning marriage and divorce.
He clearly states that being celibate (a eunuch) is a gift/ability given to some, while the rest of us, if we can’t stay single, should seek to be married.

There is nowhere in the New Testament, which states that Apostles, Elders (servant leaders) or Deacons (assistant servant leaders) with the Pastoral or Evangelist gifts, should be celibate by command of Yeshua or their assembly/congregation.
When religious groups enforce unnatural UN-Godly laws on people (things which Yeshua did not command) we end up with abuse on a wide scale.
It encourages people to seek out the forbidden, which sadly appears to be a default mode of the flesh (aka lust and desire) within the majority.
Imposing those non-scriptural unnatural laws on people (especially men), forces people to entertain lasciviousness (sexual perversion and voyeurism, leading to porn addiction), fornication (sex outside of marriage), physical adultery (sex outside of ones marriage), emotional/spiritual adultery, unplanned pregnancies, homosexuality, paedophilia and rape.

A contemporary evaluation
Putting aside the extreme cases of physical man-made eunuchs by castration, mentioned by Yeshua.
The natural celibate, is an individual with next to no sex drive, no sexual urges or desires to be with anyone.
Growing up, they were the individuals who didn’t think about losing their virginity, didn’t have those ‘frequent’ hormonal arousing (horny) moments, were not tempted to masturbate or keeping super busy to avoid masturbating, did not desire to be in a long term relationship, get married or have children.
They are not weird, they are just different and gifted individuals, which can function perfectly fine, without being in a relationship or having sex.
They have an admirable ability to focus without additional relationship distractions, on… self-development, charity work, developing their careers, building business, working on projects and ultimately (if in relationship with Yeshua) unrestricted service to Yeshua.
In any random large-scale survey of single individuals, if the participants are asked particular questions, responding honestly to those questions, the natural celibate may represent 20% of those individuals, or maybe even less.

Religious error concerning ‘praying away’ the sex drive
Other belief systems may mention ways to deal with sexual urges.
However, religious Christianity (remember the diagram) has many incorrectly believing, they can simply fast and pray away the urges.
That may work for a small percent but if we really think about it, why would Yeshua take away something He put in the majority of us, in order for pro-creation and the re-population of the human race to continue?
Many do not understand that fasting, while it helps to build you spiritually, drawing you closer to Yeshua’s the throne of grace, can actually help to re-invigorate your body, improving your health, immune system and even your sex drive.
If individuals are aware that they are not blessed with the ‘eunuch gift’ they should be correctly praying for assistance in managing their drive and resulting urges, along with assistance to finding someone who will match them in marriage.
Admitting you have a drive, is the exercising of truth, praying ‘correctly’ is a positive (and realistic) step in the right direction to constructively live until you are able to be married and exercise that part of you, lawfully and righteously.

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Sexual sin has always been a problem for the human race but it has increased along with the rise of the religion of selfism, a move away from building families & communities (the village) and the increase in technology especially in the area of internet usage.
Returning to the original blueprint, will never ‘completely’ remove all the problems but it will help to reduce them.

A case…real life scenario
I can recall a case, which was very familiar to me.
A situation in which an individual went ahead and pursued marriage, when they really could have happily stayed on their own, to concentrate on building their business and doing their charity work.
As with most of these situations, especially when a natural celibate (incorrectly) ends up marrying someone at the opposite end of the ‘sex drive’ scale, it was a relationship which ended in divorce.
When people refuse to open up and talk honestly, or refuse to see the warning signs, these type of relationships/marriages happen and many of them eventually end in divorce.
Or, those who are not the ‘celibate type’ end up living in sexless marriages where they commit physical or emotional/spiritual adultery, opting for a relationship outside of marriage or satisfying themselves with sexual fantasies and masturbation.
It can also lead to a couple agreeing to open their marriage, resulting in the partner with the sex-drive, having agreed ‘permitted’ sex with others, aka agreed adultery.

Differences and changes
As with most things in life, where human beings are concerned, there are obviously always exceptions to the rules.
Some may start off with regular relationship aspirations but an accident, serious illness or operation may have serious physical and psychological affects, causing them to choose or be reluctantly pushed into a life of celibacy.
Others may start off the opposite but a drastic change in pace of life, to a more holistic healthy way of living (including health retreats, fasting, vitamin and mineral supplements, a change of diet and regular exercise) may kick start hormonal changes/surges within them.
Changes which cause them to want to have a relationship and be married at a later stage.
While others (probably by divine intervention) may wake up one day and decide to live life in a completely different direction, as a celibate.

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Time for total honesty
In the times we currently live in, it’s surprising to see that there are people who’s actions are still not matching their words.
People within a particular age demographic refuse to be totally honest about themselves, while others share too much information and let everything hang out.
There is an embarrassment in men to admit that they are a natural celibate (spiritual eunuch) incorrectly believing its unmanly and effeminate, to admit they have next to no desire to have sex and are quite happy being on their own, having friendships only.
With women, while it’s readily accepted that some may be natural celibates (spiritual eunuchs).
It is equally embarrassing for certain groups of women to express and share that being alone is simply not for them and they need to be in a sexual long-term relationship/marriage to feel happy and content.
Obviously, due to a variety of reasons, there are differing scales and drive levels between men and women but enough research and information has been shared, for most to understand that it’s a myth to believe that men have a higher sex drive than women.
High sex drive levels can be found in both men and women, just as the natural celibate can be found among men as well as women.
Women are not weird for having high drives and men are not weird for having no drive whatsoever.
This is where so-called “societal norms” can and should be questioned, challenged and where positively necessary, ignored.

Wouldn’t it be good if the natural celibate (spiritual eunuch) male or female, just refused to become entangled in a relationship, no matter how aesthetically pleasing on the eye, the other individual is.
It would solve many a relationship problem if people would understand that beauty is subjective, based on individual preferences.
Many a so-called ‘good looking’ individual are natural celibates, just as many a so-called ‘average or below average looking’ individuals have a sex drive.
Obviously there are also those in the so-called average camp which are natural celibates, just as those in the so-called good looking camps, who have a sex drive.
If honesty was embraced, the affects it would have on friendships as well as relationships would be extremely positive.

It’s time for the natural celibate (especially men) to raise their hand and be proud to admit they have no desire for a relationship or sex and be reinspected for doing so.
Just as women (whatever the age demographic) should be honest and admit that they have a desire to be in a committed sexual relationship (preferably marriage) and be respected for doing so.
Compatibility goes further than surface level beauty, it would be great if people who could (and should) just enjoy their singleness.
Without accepting any of the external pressures, to seek out a relationship.
Leaving those, who need the intimacy, to be connected to someone who feels the same.
This would save everyone’s time in the dating arena and hopefully remove one more barriers in the path to finding ‘the one’ and elevating relationships to marriage.

Phil Gayle
Watiwa Mtoto wa Yeshua
G Man


#ForSinglesAndCouples #fsac #single #celibacy #RelationshipAdvice #RelationshipGoals

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