We were created to be social beings and an essential part of social interaction involves communication.
Human beings naturally ‘herd’ into like-minded groups, initially based on nationality, background, language and colour.
However, many of us look deeper than surface distinctions, by actually ‘listening’, to the things people say, which highlight how they think.
As well as the body language, displayed by the more secretive (remember the difference) and guarded individual, who (despite purposely attempting not to verbally engage, in an attempt to minimise information shared) actually give away a whole lot more, if you know how to read body language.
Those who do, tend to herd into people who share similar views, beliefs, morals etc. which go beyond, ethnicity, colour or gender.
I’ve frequently shared my thoughts on the importance of good communication to build good, strong relationships.
Sadly, we live in a time of snowflake (both the loony left and the far wrong) sensitivity, where many, would prefer to cuss or swear at someone, use violence, walk out of a room, use passive aggressive silence, or (in the case of SM) exercise their right to delete and/or block.
Usually it’s because they are challenged in a sensitive area and don’t posses the tools to maturely debate or discuss differing points of views or beliefs.
Obviously, everyone has a right to “choose not to engage”; we don’t have to answer or argue every single point we disagree with.
However, for a growing number, they usually exercise their right not to engage, more often than not.
How do we gain an understanding?
How do we mend damaged bridges?
How do we learn to move on without additional negative baggage?
If we don’t learn how to deal with our hyper-sensitivity and learn how to develop and use tools to deal with conflict and differences, in order to bring about resolution, or peaceful acceptance of differences.
In life, if you want something or situations to change, you have to be prepared to talk about and deal with the “elephant in the room”.
Also, it’s important to remember…
An individual who exercised truth, in reporting & addressing negative situations, doesn’t make that person a negative individual.
It makes that person an individual, who is both willing and prepared to deal with the reality of a situation, no matter how difficult the subject matter is.
The negative person is the one who creates the negative situations, especially if they refuse to be addressed concerning those negatively created situations.
I have an ability to share strong (sometimes one-way) bonds with individuals, remembering birthdays, anniversaries etc. even when some fail to remember mine.
I will regularly contact people (give them a shout) out of the blue, even when they forget or can’t be bothered to do the same toward me.
Admittedly, it’s easier to be patient and long-suffering with individuals, if you find it easy to forgive and move on, without holding grudges.
It’s also important to remember, some people ‘show up’ when things are going well in their life, while, some show up when they are having problems, while the rest of us try our best to ‘keep it real’ no matter how life is currently going for us.
Whether they are encountering positive or negative situations in their life, for a number of reasons, some just can’t compartmentalise, they can’t (or don’t want to) keep the lines of communication open.
In saying that, I’m neither clingy or needy, I’m happy to give others the space to be one-sided with their communication.
I’m also happy (as a sister of mine told me, in a back and forth text conversation we had, at the ending of 2016) to leave an individual alone and at their request, I will and do.
Yes, there’s obviously more to that scenario, which I may honestly share at some point in the future.
However, it’s important for those of us, who have no problem in dealing with confrontation and open communication, to accept that some, just don’t want to talk to us.
We just have to move on, without any grudges or hard feelings.
With regards to communication (especially when we no longer navigate the same circles as others) people should be challenged to make an effort.
People tend to ask others, “When was the last time you heard from x?”.
However, if you are a person who asks that question because you genuinely want to know the answer, try following up with this additional question.
“When was the last time, you contacted x?”.
The former question encourages laziness of communication, creating scenarios in which, individuals expect others to contact them, i.e. one-sided communication.
The latter additional line of enquiry, assists an individual to understand that communication should be a balanced and a two-way means of interaction, which requires joint effort.
Never forget; We are unique individuals, sharing similar experiences.
Watiwa Mtoto wa Yeshua
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